Lent Day 1: Approval & Acceptance

“God not only approves of you, He’s smiling over you.  He loves you!  You need to get that so deeply rooted within your heart that nothing can ever take it from you.  When you’re rooted in god’s love, He’s going to help you stand up in faith and start walking in obedience to Him.  But you can’t go ahead of Him trying to do good works on your own.  You have to know the Word so that you can know who you are in Christ.  In Psalm 18:19, David said, ‘God is pleased with me.’  David wasn’t perfect, but he knew God delighted in him.  God is pleased with you too.  Get that truth down inside you.  He is smiling over you and He loves you very much.  God approves of you!”

- Joyce Meyer

 

 Having a revelation that something is true is a completely different ballgame than just believing it.

 

Growing up in church, I heard many times about how much God loves his children.  Numerous sermons were preached on God being the same yesterday, today, and forever.  I was told He would never leave me or forsake me.  I believed Jesus was perfect and came to earth to die on the cross and save me from my sins. 

All through high school and well into college, I was the girl who needed approval from a guy.  My identity was based upon what a guy thought of me, and I ran full-force toward nearly any male who showed interest in me.  This, as one can imagine, was not a good method for success.  I chose to continue putting myself at risk for heartbreak and hurt just to have that feeling that I was loved, but that wasn’t the worst part.

My view of relationships tainted my view of God.  I failed to see Him as the loving Father who smiles upon His children and loves them unconditionally.  I thought He, like others in my life, would stop loving me or stop caring after a while.  I wasn’t worthy of His acceptance and approval; therefore, I refused to accept His Love.  I didn’t really know how to accept it, and I was afraid He would leave.  I hadn’t had a revelation of the truth that lied in all those sermons and teachings I heard for years prior. 

I still remember the very first time I felt God wrap me up in His arms.  I was on top of a gazebo during the Retreat of Silence at Rockbridge.  It was the most incredible feeling one could ever have.  That was the feeling that I had been searching for in all the wrong places.  I was finally beginning to learn who God is (perfect, loving, caring, constant) because I allowed Him to define Himself rather than define Him based on my past experiences with people.  No definition of God I could ever muster would even hold a candle to the vast greatness of who He truly is.  As I learned and accepted God’s true identity, I learned more about who He sees me as . . . a beautiful and loved daughter whom He would not trade for anything.  He is smiling over me. 

 May 12, 2010: The day I chose to run into the arms of Love.

God accepts me and approves of me.  There is so much freedom in that revelation.  Now, I don’t have look to others for approval.  I know I have acceptance from the One who really matters.  The healing and change that has taken place in me is incredible (and it is still ongoing).  Looking back on who I was, I can definitely tell I’m not the same person.  Sometimes I can’t even believe it was me. 

And for the first time in my life, I am in a relationship with a man of God that was not forced or premature.  I didn’t run full-force toward anything.  I waited.  Both of us waited, prayed, and sought direction from God first.  I honestly believe that this relationship would not be possible or as fruitful if I had continued to deny the truth of God’s identity as well as my identity in Him.

The truth really does set you free.  And freedom is beautiful.

 

Another journal entry from the gazebo:
 

How beautiful are the works or Your hands, O God.

Your earth is full of marvelous splendor.

It is a breathtaking masterpiece.

Every blade of grass, every grain of sand;

They all have perfect placement.

So have You created and placed me.

You see me as I see the earth:

                Beautiful

You call me as I sit in solitude:

                Purpose

You hold me as I heal from hurt:

                Love

Love.
Never has your Love ever been so real to me.
Never have I seen in me what You see.
Your Love sweeps over me like a flood,
And I know I will be whole again.
You have always been with me,
Even in my darkest hour.
There is hope and a future,
So I will trust in You.
You are my portion.
You are my life.
You are my Love.
I am Yours, and You are mine.